You can determine whatever pace you're ready for, but you don't need to head to the nearest fetish party the moment you decide to explore.
"It can be easy to imaging the wildest change in your sex lifestyle when we think about experimenting, but sometimes going super far straight away isn't ideal," McLaughlin says. "You might end up feeling intimidated or realizing you really aren't into a particular thing. So instead, make smaller, more gradual shifts."
If you're interested in trying anal sex for the first time, for example, start with gentle anal play during masturbation, she says.
Adriana Joyner, a therapist who specializes in gender, sexuality, and advocacy for the queer/LGBT community tells Bustle, "It’s important to go slow and honor the process of your exploration before you jump into the physical side of exploring your sexuality. I think the most important factor to understand before you enter a new sexual situation is knowing firmly where your boundaries and limits are."
Be sure you can say what you want, and what you don’t want, openly, clearly and directly, she says.
Sex should be fun, safe and consenting, Joyner says. This takes you knowing your limits up front.
